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Julie Ryan

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Caregiver Strategies

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Trish from Windsor, CT, asked:

Hi Julie,

My elderly mother has been living with my husband and me and while caring for my mom has been a privilege, it has also been quite tiring for us.

Throughout her life, my mom has showed great determination and strength of will (which is probably why she has reached this remarkable old age). Although I’ve seen changes in my mom and know that she is weakening, I also feel like she is struggling to hang on. Maybe there is something that she needs that she is not expressing to me.

I’m experiencing many emotions. While I love my mother and want to help her to the end, I miss my life with my husband and want to enjoy time with him and more freely visit and spend time alone with our adult children. Also, since I left my career to take care of my mom, I sometimes feel a loss of myself.

If I only knew what our future holds, I feel like I could either relax into our current situation and treasure this remaining time with my mom or, make some changes that would enable me to care for her and not feel like I’m losing time with the rest of my family.

Can you tell me how I can help my mom and what phase of transition (if any) she’s in?

Thank you,

Trish

Hi Trish,

Sounds like you have your hands full and are experiencing what a lot of people with elderly parents are facing.

A May 2020 Report conducted by the National Alliance For Caregiving (NAC) and the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), shows 53 Million, almost one in every five Americans, are caregivers for an elderly parent or in-law. And, most if not all of them experience the emotions you mentioned (including guilt).

Douglas Wolf, PhD, a professor of aging studies at Syracuse University claims, “If you have a parent who needs help and you’re not providing help, then your mental health score goes down. If you have a parent who needs help and you do provide help, your mental health score goes down. It’s no worse to be a caregiver than to not be a care-giver.”

So, what can you and those caring for an elderly loved one do?

Here are ten coping strategies for caregivers from agingcare.com:

1. Respite – If possible, plan a weekly break.

2. Research Caregiver Resources – Contact your Area Agency on Aging for information on federal, state and local programs that may be able to provide financial assistance or other services that can reduce your caregiver stress levels.

3. Set Boundaries – It’s okay to say no when you don’t want to do something.

4. Accept Your Limitations – Focus on things you can affect and let go of anything you can’t change.

5. Get Organized – Prioritize, make lists and establish a daily routine. Divide large tasks into smaller, more manageable ones and learn to delegate.

6. Communicate – Stay in touch with family members, friends and outside resources and ask for help when needed.

7. Seek Caregiver Support – Join a support group for caregivers like Caregiver Action Network, Family Caregiver Alliance, National Alliance for Caregiving or Parenting Our Parents. In addition, there are many online options including ones covering a specific disease like Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s.

8. Stay Active – Do what you can to get some exercise. Even a short walk can help you lessen stress and maintain or improve your own health.

9. Attend to Your Own Physical and Mental Health – Eat as healthy a diet as possible and make sure to add something fun to each day. Read a book, watch a movie or adopt a new hobby.

10. Take Time Off Work – Like you did, consider taking a break from your job. Eligible employees covered under the federal Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) may be able to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave per year to care for an immediate family member.

As I’m writing this, your mom is in Phase 4 of the Twelve Phases of Transition. As I describe in Angelic Attendants, this means her spirit is out of her body and attached to the top of her head in what looks like a cartoon caption bubble. In addition, she is surrounded by a horseshoe of angels that her deceased parents are anchoring. Your mom told me she isn’t ready to go, is in occasional pain and she needs a sweater.

Hope all this information provides you with some helpful resources and information as well as comfort!

Caregiver Strategies Read More »

Addiction Gene

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Laura from Albany, NY, asked:

Hi Julie,

I found you when you were interviewed on the Inspire Nation show and have been so enjoying your podcast ever since.

In addition, I just purchased your book, Angelic Attendants, and am looking forward to diving in!

I was wondering if you could help me “cut the cords” for my desire to drink. My father passed away at the age of 52 from cirrhosis of the liver and I swore I would NEVER find myself on a similar path. But 12 years post-divorce, here I am at the age of 54, drinking MUCH more than I want to, on a nearly nightly basis.

It’s something that I feel deep shame about and I truly believe my drinking is keeping me from being who I came here to be.

I took a 10-month class from a wonderful spiritual teacher and had some really magical, mystical experiences. I’d like to continue developing these abilities and begin to work toward my life purpose. Maybe I chose to have this love/hate relationship with alcohol in my Life Plan but I SO want to be done with it!

My partner says he will never not drink, so removing alcohol from my home is not an option. I hope that you can help me. Is there some sort of a desire for alcohol switch you can flip to OFF?!

Many thanks, for your beautiful work! I’m so happy I found you and hope to take your training in the future.

Much love,

Laura

Hi Laura,

Thanks for listening to my show and for reading Angelic Attendants. I hope you find it informative, comforting and heartwarming.

Regarding your questions around excessive drinking and finding yourself emulating your father, turns out you’re absolutely right! There is a polymorphism (genetic variation) of the DRD2 gene found to be associated with alcoholism and other substance abuse disorders including cocaine, nicotine, opioid dependence and obesity.

An article titled, Addiction and its reward process through polymorphisms of the D2 dopamine receptor gene reports that in an effort to compensate for deficiencies of the brain, one form of the DRD2 gene, the A1 allele, renders the dopamine system inefficient and rewards substance abuse that increases brain dopamine levels. In essence, people with this gene can have a super sensitivity to addictive stimuli.

In addition, an article titled, Neurogenetics of dopamine receptor super sensitivity about addiction relapse, said, “We propose that low D2 receptor density and polymorphisms of the D2 gene are associated with risk for relapse of substance abuse, including alcohol dependence, heroin craving, cocaine dependence, methamphetamine abuse, nicotine sensitization, and glucose craving.”

Is there a genetic component to addiction? Well, some researchers believe there is and addiction sure seems to run in families. Is it nature or nurture? Probably both.

As a sugar addict with alcoholism in her family, I believe I too have this DRD2 polymorphism in my gene pool mix and although I did a DNA healing on myself, what finally worked for me was to completely give up sugar almost three years ago.

You’ll never be able to totally avoid being around alcohol just like I can’t avoid being around sweets. We can however, limit it in our homes. You’ll figure out a way.

In the meantime, I did a DNA healing on you and suggest you consider talking with a licensed addiction specialist who can assist you. A good place to begin your confidential search is at the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), an agency within the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). Another good resource is the therapist finder at Psychology Today.

You are absolutely on your life’s path and it includes an experience on the addiction adventure. Trust you’ll be led to the people you need who will act as your tour guides. 

 

  

Addiction Gene Read More »

Pregnancy With Fibroids

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Patty from San Francisco, CA, asked:                           

Hi Julie,  

I found you through the Annette Figueredo’s Fertility and Spirituality Summit when you spoke about “Woo-Woo for the Womb”.  

Two weeks ago, I transferred a fresh embryo (my first IVF/pregnancy) and I’m nervous about it because I have fibroids.  

I was having fibroid pain during IVF prep and now I’m worried the fibroids will grow during the pregnancy and cause the baby and me pain and complications.  

Will we be OK??  Will you scan me please?  

Thank you so much!

Patty

Hi Patty,

What exciting news, congratulations! Thanks for your question and for listening to my interview with Annette.

Regarding your fibroids and pregnancy, to assist you, I energetically connected to you and focused on your uterus.

I saw (in my mind’s eye), your tiny fetus and several fibroids. One is fairly large and is pedunculated. That means it has a stalk of tissue attached to it. (Picture a mushroom with a head on top of a stem). The other fibroids were submucosal and just under the lining of your uterine cavity. I energetically removed all of them.

Next, I watched (again in my mind’s eye) a healing that removed strands of fibrin from your uterus. Fibrin is described by the Miriam-Webster dictionary as, “A white, insoluble, fibrous protein used in the clotting of blood.” To me, it looks like strands of a spider web and reminds me of the fiber silkworms produce to make their cocoons.

In addition, I watched some of your DNA get re-sequenced. This healing corrected a mutation in a strand of your DNA that was producing excess fibrin which in turn was causing your fibroids.

I “got” that your pregnancy will go well and you and your baby will both be just fine.

Lastly, I asked my dear friend, global women’s health expert, Dr. Christiane Northrup who is an OB/GYN, for her opinion about your concerns. Her response was, “My experience is that I NEVER saw anyone have a problem carrying a full-term pregnancy with a fibroid. But, in rare cases, the fibroids can sometimes disintegrate during pregnancy and that can be quite painful as the tissue begins to break down.”

Hope the healings and information help to alleviate your fears.

Pregnancy With Fibroids Read More »

Weight Issues

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Jolene from Oviedo, FL, asked:

Hello Julie, 

I have been following you for a long time and have read your Angelic Attendants book. It really helped me a lot.

For the past three years I’ve been struggling to lose this excess weight and build back up my confidence.

Is there stuck energy in my body somewhere? Is it inflammation from my food? Is it something in my subconscious that keeps me stuck? What is it???

Please help. I am so desperate!

Thanks,

Jolene

Hi Jolene,

Thanks for your kind comments and for reading Angelic Attendants.

As someone who’s had a lifelong struggle with excess weight, I completely understand your frustration.

In order to get some information for you, I energetically connected to you and saw (in my mind’s eye) lots of inflammation in your body. Research shows inflammation is the main cause of both illness and extra weight.

Focusing on how I feel when eating certain foods, makes the choices a lot easier for me. This includes completely giving up sugar a couple years ago when I finally realized how addictive it was for me. Now, make no mistake, I still want sugar, I just don’t eat it anymore. (Not even cake at my son Jonathan’s wedding!)

A few books that have educated and helped me and may help you are:

The Bulletproof Diet by Dave Asprey

Why We Get Sick by Benjamin Bikman, PhD

Eat Smarter: Use The Power of Food by Shawn Stevenson

My personal motto is, if God made it, eat it and if man made it, I do my best to avoid it.

Take it one day at a time and trust your body to most importantly, heal itself while you get smaller.

Good luck!

Weight Issues Read More »

Guardian Angel Name

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Mel from Colfax, CA, asked:

Hi Julie,

I just love listening to you and following you every day. 

I am so excited about my upcoming appointment with you. 

I would love to know what my guardian angel’s name is so when I talk to him/her, I can address them by name.

Thanks so much and many, many, blessings to you always!

Mel

Hi Mel,

Your Guardian Angel’s name is Martinique and it told me you could call it Marti if you wished.

It’s important to remember that although we often consider a name to be masculine or feminine, angels are neither. Rather, they’re spirits without a gender.

We all have a Guardian Angel whose mission is to protect and guide us and we keep the same one throughout all of our lifetimes.

In general, angels are described as spiritual winged creatures and are found in all of antiquity. Guardian Angels, however, are more of a recent concept (only a couple thousand years old).

Jenny Smedley, author of Soul Angels said, “Pagans do view angels as beings made of energy, however, pagan angels may appear in many guises, for instance as gnomes, fairies and elves. Pagans are not as in awe of angels as some more modern religious practitioners are, and treat them almost like friends and confidants, as if they are here to serve and help man rather than be purely subservient to any one god or goddess.”

Although angels are mentioned throughout the Bible, the notion of Guardian Angels is primarily found in Christianity and the New Testament.

For example, around 342 AD, Saint Jerome said, “How great the dignity of the soul, since each one has from his birth, an angel commissioned to guard it.” Furthermore, scholars believe the Guardian Angel prayer said by most Catholic children, including me, was composed by either St. Anselm of Canterbury or Reginald of Canterbury, both Benedictine monks who lived during the 11th century.

Acclaimed author Perdita Finn, (The Way Of The Rose) told me Guardian Angels became more important to the masses when Protestants stopped acknowledging the saints. She said saints and deceased loved ones were once seen as the primary spiritual guardians of people.

Lastly, In his March 31, 1997 Regina Caeli address, Pope John Paul II referred to the concept of guardian angels when he said, “Let us invoke the Queen of angels and saints, that she may grant us, supported by our Guardian Angels, to be authentic witnesses to the Lord’s paschal mystery”.

In summary, I believe since the beginning of time, most people could, like me, telepathically see or sense Guardian Angels.

Hope this helps you “see” and “communicate” with your angel Marti!

Guardian Angel Name Read More »

Mommy Tummy Repair

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Michelle from Meath, Leinster, Ireland, asked:

Hi Julie,

I gave birth to 3 boys. My eldest is 17 and my two younger ones are 3 and 1.

They were all very different births and experiences. 

My body has been through a really intense time and my stomach muscles have never recovered.

Can you help?

Thanks so much!

Michelle

Hi Michelle,

Thanks for your question and congratulations on your three boys!

In order to get some information for you, I energetically connected to you in Ireland and “saw” (in my mind’s eye) what looks like stretched and a separation in your abdominal muscles. In medical terms, it’s called Diastasis Recti.

The Mayo Clinic says, “During pregnancy, the growing uterus stretches the muscles in the abdomen. This can cause the two large parallel bands of muscles that meet in the middle of the abdomen to separate — a condition called diastasis recti or diastasis rectiabdominis. Diastasis recti might cause a bulge in the middle of the abdomen where the two muscles separate and in extreme cases, diastasis can be connected to lower back pain, abdominal pain, and even pelvic problems.”

I then “watched” (again in my mind’s eye), a healing happen that tightened your stomach muscles, corrected the separation (diastasis recti) and remove some extra abdominal skin. In other words, an energetic tummy tuck!

Healings happen on the energetic level then integrate into the body. They can result in an immediate difference in symptoms, can take days, weeks or months and may need complimentary care like physical therapy, medicine, surgery, etc.

To help your body heal, here are some exercises you can do yourself compliments of wellnessmama.com:

Hope this healing and information helps.

Hugs and Happy 2021!

 

Mommy Tummy Repair Read More »

Guardian Angels

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Michel from Chalmette, LA, asked :

Hi Julie,

What is the name of my guardian angel?

I’ve tried calling in to your show and have not been able to get through.

Thanks so much!!!

Michel

Hi Michel,

The name of your guardian angel is Rafa, short for Raphael.

Since it’s the Christmas season, I thought it’d be fun to look into the history and significance of this type of angel so, here goes …

A guardian angel is depicted as a supernatural being assigned to a person as a type of messenger and protector and it’s my understanding that we keep the same guardian angel throughout all of our lifetimes.

The Bible mentions angels 273 times and the concept of angels pre-dates Judaism and is found in ancient Sumerian, Babylonian, Egyptian and Persian religions.

It’s interesting to note that according to a 2008 Baylor University survey conducted by the Gallup Organization, 55% of Americans believe, at some point in their lives, they’ve been protected by their guardian angel.

Since I was raised Roman Catholic, the concept of my having a Guardian Angel has been a constant throughout my life and is my frame of reference for how I “see” angels. They appear to me just as they look in statuary and art; large, winged beings wearing a white robe belted at the waist with a rope. Someone raised in a non-Judeo-Christian culture may see angels differently, perhaps as a purple ball of energy.

As a tiny child, I was taught and recited the Guardian Angel prayer (believed to have originated in the 11th century) every night before I went to sleep and I can still say it today …

Angel of God, my guardian dear, 
To whom God’s love commits me here, 
Ever this day, be at my side, 
To light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen.

And interestingly enough, Guardian Angels are even present when we die. My book Angelic Attendants: What Really Happens As We Transition From This Life Into The Next describes how lots of angels surround us and play a pivotal role at the end of everyone’s life.

So, my prayer this Christmas is, may the angels bless and protect you and your family always.

With love, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Guardian Angels Read More »

Angel Messages For Dogs

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Just in time for the holidays, my new book Angel Messages For Dogs is now available!

It’s a sweet, beautifully illustrated children’s book with angels teaching kids about dogs. 

Both my daughter-in-law veterinarian Dr. Mallory and my son Jonathan are included in the illustrations.

And speaking of the illustrations, they’re all water color and pastel paintings (yes I have the originals) which makes them extra special.

I hope Angel Messages For Dogs will be a treasured edition to your family library and will be enjoyed by current and future generations.

Get one for every child, grandchild, and dog lover in your life. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Love,

Julie

Angel Messages For Dogs Read More »

Alzheimer’s Care Decision

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Kathleen from Door County, WI, asked:

Hello Julie,

I’ve been living with and caring for my dad for over 8 years. This also includes caring for my mom who died of cancer six years ago.

As you can imagine, I am very exhausted and conflicted about placing him in a home. I tried twice. It didn’t work out and broke my heart.

I never thought my dad would live this long without my mom and I’m now realizing he could live for another ten years.

I’ll soon need to come to terms with placing him in a home because I really need to start living my life again. I don’t even know what that will look like because I’ve really lost myself in all of this care giving. 

Can you please tell me what Phase of Transition my dad’s in and if he has any helpful messages for me?

Thank You.

Kathleen

Hi Kathleen,

Good heavens Girl, you deserve a medal of honor for being such an amazing daughter and caregiver.

In order to get some information for you, I energetically connected to you and from you to your dad.

He has begun the dying process and is currently in Phase 4 of the Twelve Phases of Transition. This means his spirit is out of his body and attached to the top of his head. It looks like a bubble containing the words or thoughts of a character in a cartoon. The spirits of your dad’s deceased parents are at his feet and anchor a horseshoe of angels that surround him.

When I asked your dad if he was ready to go, he said “yes”.

When I asked your dad if he was in pain, he also said “yes”.

When I asked him what he needed, he said he needed to see your mother.

Regarding his “seeing your mother” statement, it’s common for people to see deceased loved ones in dreams and/or visions at the end of life and I believe this will happen to and comfort your dad.

To learn more about this phenomenon, consider reading Death Is But A Dream by Christopher Kerr, MD, PhD. In his research, Dr. Kerr, the CEO of a large hospice and palliative care center in Buffalo, NY, shows how prevalent and most importantly comforting, dreams and visions are to dying patients.

Death is But A Dream discusses university-based research that mirrors what I describe in my book Angelic Attendants: What Really Happens As We Transition From This Life Into The Next, namely, angels and deceased loved ones greet us and lead us into paradise (heaven).

As for transferring your dad to a care facility, I “get” it’s in your and his best interest to do so. I also “get” it’s in your best interest to consider a hospice or palliative care facility. In addition to his getting taken care of by medical professionals, you should be able to visit him there.

Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center has put together a terrific fact sheet entitled, “Should I put my relative with Alzheimer’s disease in a nursing home?” It’s full of thought-provoking questions designed to help you make the best decision for your dad and yourself.

Hope you find this information helpful.

Alzheimer’s Care Decision Read More »