Amber from Denver, CO, asked:
Hi Julie,
My son passed away not long after I was hit by a semi-truck. He was a full-term fetus. My placenta abrupted so the umbilical cord was starving him.
Afterwards, the doctors said they thought I was further along in my pregnancy which meant I should have been watched more carefully and been induced.
I was in an abusive relationship and my husband abandoned me after not showing up for my son’s delivery. He is convinced it was my fault and I wonder if I could have done better. I’m having a hard time not blaming myself.
Am I the reason he isn’t here? Is my baby with my deceased grandmother? Why did this happen?
Thanks.
Amber
Hi Amber,
I am so sorry to hear about you losing your baby. I can’t even imagine the pain you have experienced in dealing with this tragedy.
The Cleveland Clinic says, “Placental abruption is the premature separation (abruption) of the placenta from the uterus before childbirth.” The Clinic goes on to say, “Placental abruption can be life-threatening to the baby and sometimes to the mother. It can lead to premature birth, low birth weight, blood loss in the mother, and in rare cases, it can cause the baby’s death.”
First and foremost, yes, your baby son’s spirit is with your grandmother’s spirit and they’re both around you all the time.
Second and just as important, we all (even fetuses) decide when, where, how and who’s with us when we pass. We have no control of when or how someone else dies. All funeral directors have many stories about families who held a vigil with their loved one as they lay dying only to have the person pass while they were left alone for a few minutes.
You ask why this happened. The best explanation I can give you is because your son’s spirit chose to experience what it was like to die right before he was to be born. Although it’s hard for us to wrap our human minds around that concept, I’ve heard it countless times.
Since we live many lives, perhaps your son was a parent, grandparent, sibling, etc. who lost a full-term baby in a past life. And perhaps his spirit chose this lifetime to gain perspective from what it was like to be the baby who wasn’t born.
Please know your baby son was surrounded by angels and the spirits of deceased loved ones when he died. More information about what happens as we pass can be found in my book Angelic Attendants: What Really Happens As We Transition From This Life Into The Next.
I hope you find some comfort in my responses to your questions.
Sending big hugs your way.
