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Julie Ryan

Healing Relationship With Deceased Mother

Cathy from Albemarle, NC, asked:

Hi Julie,

When you talk about the maternal spirit coming first when a person is dying, is that always the case?

My mother disowned me years before she died and while dying, told my brother and sister not to tell me when she had died. She carried her anger with her until the moment of her death.

I think of her often and wonder if she will be present when I am ready to make my journey to the next phase.

I often tell my children I now understand why my mother felt she needed to disconnect from me. In addition, I’m thankful I am strong enough to accept my children’s “shortcomings” and not feel I have to divorce myself from them for my own survival.

I’m sure my mother knows I “get it” and wonder if I’ll ever have the opportunity to tell her spirit to spirit.

Thank you!

Cathy

Hi Cathy,

My heart goes out to you not only with the loss of your mother but also because of your unresolved issues with her.

It has been my experience in working with thousands of people and their families at the end of life, that the maternal spirit closest to the dying person is the first one to arrive.

An important point to remember is, all spirits are pure love. We all assume character and personality traits like actors in a movie when we’re in human form, and those characteristics, regardless of how awful or evil, stay with the body when someone dies.

As for your unsettled relationship with your mother, you can heal that now.

Here are a couple of suggestions:

– Write a letter to your mother and include everything you want to tell her then take it to a park with BBQ grills, place the letter inside the grill and burn it. Watch the smoke rise and know you’re releasing those pent-up emotions and at the same time, sending them to your mom.

– Listen to my chat with Nina Mongendre (episode #385) about ancestral healing. In it, Nina and I discuss how to heal emotional wounds with past, present, and future generations.

Hope this information provides some comfort for you.