Meredith from Jackson, MS, asked:
Hi Julie,
How can I stop revisiting a friendship with someone who is not a good vibrational match for me?
I feel a deep and strong connection to him. It’s as if we have shared many past lives.
I find myself almost unable to stop seeking this person’s attention even when he causes an abrupt end to most communications.
Thanks for your insight.
Meredith
Hi Meredith,
When I first read your question, I thought of two songs by the English Rocker Robert Palmer. The first, released in 1986 is called “Addicted To Love” and the second “Simply Irresistible” followed in 1988. Both tunes seem to describe the relationship you’re experiencing with a man who doesn’t return your affection. And, although you haven’t come right out and said it, sounds like the strong connection you feel to this man has you believing you’re soulmates.
Despite the fact Merriam-Webster defines the word soulmate as, “A person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament”, literature and the entertainment industry have perpetuated the idea of a perfect soulmate for every person. This false belief can cause people to forgo wonderful potential life partners in the pursuit of the “one”.
Many believe the soulmate concept originated in 360 BC when Plato wrote in The Symposium, “Love is born into every human being; it calls back the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make one out of two and heal the wound of human nature. Each of us, then, is a matching half of a human whole … and each of us is always seeking the half that matches him.”
I believe you are correct in your assumption about why you feel (as you describe) a deep and strong connection to this man. You have shared many lifetimes together, the last 87 lifetimes. No wonder your attraction is so intense.
Everyone we know is a soulmate to us. Our parents, siblings, children, and other family members along with friends, lovers, colleagues, and the checkout clerk at your local grocery store. Humans play different roles in each lifetime to experience something our spirit is exploring. That’s why we incarnate, to have a human experience as a creator. Just because someone is your soulmate, it doesn’t mean having them in your life will be beneficial or even enjoyable.
Having said all that, it sounds to me like this man doesn’t treat you very well. That in itself is a reason to forget about him and this futile relationship. Instead, focus on the characteristics you want in a partner and in doing that, you’ll attract someone who loves and cherishes you.
The author J.R.R. Tolkien, who was married to his wife Edith for 55 years put it best when he wrote, “The real soul-mate, is the one you are actually married to.”