Maureen from Minnetonka, MN, asked:
Hi Julie,
Each year as the holidays approach, I find myself dreading the inevitable family dramas that always arise.
Not only do we have the equivalent of a crazy uncle who stirs up trouble, we have several relatives that seem to cause friction wherever they go and with whomever they speak. It’s miserable.
Do you have any strategies to help me get through the holidays?
Thanks.
Maureen
Hi Maureen,
What a great and timely question. During the holidays, many people feel like their family is staring in its own Soap Opera and they dread the drama.
The reasons behind these conflicts include the meshing of different personalities who aren’t often together, too much alcohol, gossip, and being around people who like to create drama to make themselves feel better.
In order to help you navigate the festivities, here are a few tips from Daniel Amen, MD, a double board-certified psychiatrist:
1) Keep Your Cool – Stay calm and others are more likely to model your behavior.
2) Build A Bridge – Do your best to look at the situation from the other person’s perspective. This can head off an argument before one has the chance to happen.
3) Distract Yourself – Hum a tune, think of happy thoughts, do whatever you need to do to avoid being drawn into the drama.
4) Take A Time-Out – Go to a separate part of the house for 10-15 minutes to cool off and not engage in the argument or discussion.
5) Try Whispering – The dramatic change in the decibel level of your voice will make everyone pay attention to what you’re saying as you attempt to diffuse the situation.
6) Take It Outside – When things get tough, either remove yourself or try to get everyone to go outside for some fresh air and exercise.
At the end of the day, the only thing we can control is our thoughts which means we all have the ability to keep anyone from ruining our experience.
Good luck. Hope this is your best holiday season ever!