Bereaved Daughter Seeks Answers

Hellen from Kampala, Uganda, asked:

Hi Julie,

I just recently learned about you and wish I had known about you sooner.

My dad recently passed in late December from prostate cancer. He was 74 years old and my mom passed away in 2000. My father’s death is very devastating for me and my family because he was our only surviving parent.

When my dad was diagnosed in August of 2018, my sister and I immediately embarked on a mission to help him survive. This included medical intervention and prayer.

I feel let down by God for not healing my dad or for at least allowing him to live a somehow normal life with the cancer.

We weren’t there at the time my dad passed because our goal was for him to get better and leave the hospital alive.

Can you please share any information about his transition, any message from him or my mother, and why God didn’t answer our prayers about giving him a second chance so we could have him a little longer.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you for all the work you do.

Kind regards,

Hellen

Hi Hellen,

My sincere condolences to you and your family on the loss of your father.

It sounds like you and your sister went out of your way to assist him in a multitude of ways both physical and spiritual at the end of his life.

Feeling let down or even angry with God is understandable and is part of the grieving process.

The University of Washington Counseling Center says the five stages of grief are, “Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, and that these stages are our attempts to process change and protect ourselves while we adapt to a new reality.”

There isn’t anything you or anyone else could’ve done to prolong your dad’s life. It has been my experience (in working with thousands of families as their loved one is at the end of their lives) that we all decide when, where, how, and with whom we transition. Although it doesn’t make sense to most of us left behind, it is always a person’s spirit’s prerogative to make these choices. 

Just ask any funeral director, pastor, or medical provider who has worked with dying people. They’ll have countless stories about how the person waited for someone to arrive, waited until everyone left the room, or waited for a final request to be granted.

Regarding your dad’s transition, no one ever dies alone, including your dad. He was surrounded by angels, the spirits of deceased loved ones and pets and of course your mom’s spirit was there too. Please check out my Angelic Attendants: What Really Happens As We Transition From This Life Into The Next book for more details.

As for messages from your parents, your mother’s spirit is showing me herself smiling and holding a bunch of brightly colored balloons. She went on to say, all life, whether in physical or spirit is like a party!

Your dad is showing me him sitting in a chair in the countryside watching herds of wild animals like zebras and wildebeests run by. He told me he loves doing that because since he’s now a spirit, the animals can’t see him. He sounds like he was a fun guy.

Hope this information comforts you.