Kathleen from Door County, WI, asked:
Hello Julie,
I’ve been living with and caring for my dad for over 8 years. This also includes caring for my mom who died of cancer six years ago.
As you can imagine, I am very exhausted and conflicted about placing him in a home. I tried twice. It didn’t work out and broke my heart.
I never thought my dad would live this long without my mom and I’m now realizing he could live for another ten years.
I’ll soon need to come to terms with placing him in a home because I really need to start living my life again. I don’t even know what that will look like because I’ve really lost myself in all of this care giving.
Can you please tell me what Phase of Transition my dad’s in and if he has any helpful messages for me?
Thank You.
Kathleen
Hi Kathleen,
Good heavens Girl, you deserve a medal of honor for being such an amazing daughter and caregiver.
In order to get some information for you, I energetically connected to you and from you to your dad.
He has begun the dying process and is currently in Phase 4 of the Twelve Phases of Transition. This means his spirit is out of his body and attached to the top of his head. It looks like a bubble containing the words or thoughts of a character in a cartoon. The spirits of your dad’s deceased parents are at his feet and anchor a horseshoe of angels that surround him.
When I asked your dad if he was ready to go, he said “yes”.
When I asked your dad if he was in pain, he also said “yes”.
When I asked him what he needed, he said he needed to see your mother.
Regarding his “seeing your mother” statement, it’s common for people to see deceased loved ones in dreams and/or visions at the end of life and I believe this will happen to and comfort your dad.
To learn more about this phenomenon, consider reading Death Is But A Dream by Christopher Kerr, MD, PhD. In his research, Dr. Kerr, the CEO of a large hospice and palliative care center in Buffalo, NY, shows how prevalent and most importantly comforting, dreams and visions are to dying patients.
Death is But A Dream discusses university-based research that mirrors what I describe in my book Angelic Attendants: What Really Happens As We Transition From This Life Into The Next, namely, angels and deceased loved ones greet us and lead us into paradise (heaven).
As for transferring your dad to a care facility, I “get” it’s in your and his best interest to do so. I also “get” it’s in your best interest to consider a hospice or palliative care facility. In addition to his getting taken care of by medical professionals, you should be able to visit him there.
Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center has put together a terrific fact sheet entitled, “Should I put my relative with Alzheimer’s disease in a nursing home?” It’s full of thought-provoking questions designed to help you make the best decision for your dad and yourself.
Hope you find this information helpful.