Eva-Christine from Kristiansand, Norway, asked:
Hello Dear Julie,
I’ve been wondering:
Can you still be a good person, living your life purpose and on the right path, if you choose to cut contact with your biological family?
I had a difficult childhood and adolescence, and much of my early life felt like survival. Over the years I’ve worked on myself a lot, and my life is quite good now.
I’m 50, and about a year or two ago I reduced contact with my father, stepfamily, and brother to almost zero. My mother and sister have also chosen to cut contact with me. I do, however, have a loving relationship with my daughter.
Sometimes I wonder if a soul that has evolved should be able to maintain relationships even with dysfunctional family members. Yet in my case, life feels healthier and more peaceful without those connections, at least as far as I can see right now.
I haven’t seen a question like this on your blog, so I hope you might consider mine.
Love,
Eva
Hi Eva,
Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful question. Many people struggle with this after growing up in difficult family dynamics.
Yes, you can absolutely be a good person and living your life purpose even if you choose to limit or end contact with biological family members.
Souls don’t come to Earth to maintain relationships at any cost. We come to learn, grow, and evolve. Sometimes family members teach us important lessons, especially about healthy boundaries.
Setting boundaries isn’t a spiritual failure. Often, it’s a sign of spiritual maturity.
The healing work you’ve done and the loving relationship you have with your daughter show that you’re breaking old cycles and creating something healthier.
You can still honor your family by wishing them well from a distance.
What matters most is choosing what brings you safety and peace.
Hugs,
Julie
3 thoughts on “Spiritual Boundaries Matter”
I always enjoy listening to your YouTube videos!
I 100% agree with your response and know with every fiber of my being that our souls come to Earth (one of the most challenging and difficult existences) in order to evolve, grow and learn.
Even knowing this, it is nice to also remind ourselves that we have (human and spiritual-based) free will and can make human and higher consciousness/ soul-based choices.
It is incredibly difficult to make the human choice that disconnects you physically and human-wise communicatively from family members.
About 15 years ago, I made a similar decision (for similar reasons) as the person who asked this question.
In all these years, my soul has always been “talking to” and visiting my Dad’s soul or higher consciousness.
It has been my safe way to stay spiritually (but not physically) connected with him, to continue to let him know that I love him and yes, to apologize for the hurt that my decision to physically and human-wise communicatively distance myself has caused him.
He recent passed. It is beautiful to be able to connect with him on a fuller level now. It’s so exciting bc his (soul) energy feels the same as it did when while he was living, I was connecting to his higher self/at a soul level.
Just wanted to add that wrinkle to this answer that even if we disconnect ourselves at a physical/communicative human level, there are still opportunities for us to have safe space contact and interactions on a soul/ higher-self or higher consciousness level. Having these interactions alleviated a lot of my emotional pain and sense of loss, disconnection.
This type of connection also provided a forum with opportunities to discuss what happened during my childhood, to hear both our views and gave me a chance to tell my Dad that I had forgiven him and share with him that I arrived at a “post-traumatic growth” space of gratitude — gratitude for the difficult (soul contract) role he chose for my upbringing. For if he had not abandoned or hurt me (the dark sides of life), I would not have as much gratitude and appreciation for the light, the love and peace I know today. To be a different spouse w/my husband & a different parent to our children, etc.
Thank you, this spoke right to me!
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