Heather from Los Angeles, CA, asked:
Hi Julie,
I discovered texts on my 14-year-old’s phone where his friend asked if his parents knew he was gay, and he replied ‘obviously not.’ Knowing I have access, I felt guided to talk to him lovingly about it to prevent any suffering. However, he responded with ‘I don’t know’ and asked me not to tell Dad. I feel weighed down by this.
Any guidance you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Heather
Hi Heather,
It sounds like you’re navigating a sensitive and heartfelt situation with great care and concern for your son. It’s understandable to feel weighed down by his response and the complexities involved. Here are some thoughts:
- Create a Safe Space: Continue to reassure your son that you love and support him unconditionally. Let him know that your primary concern is his well-being and happiness.
- Respect Boundaries: While it’s natural to want to discuss this with your spouse, honor your son’s request for privacy unless there’s an immediate concern for his safety or well-being.
- Seek Support: Consider reaching out to support groups and licensed therapists/counselors specializing in LGBTQ+ issues for guidance on how best to support your son during this time.
- Spiritual Guidance: Trust your intuition and spiritual beliefs to guide you in providing love, acceptance, and understanding to your son.
Remember, this is a journey that requires patience and empathy. Your openness and willingness to support your son emotionally will be invaluable as he navigates his identity and relationships.