April from Charleston, WV, asked:
Hi Julie,
My father transitioned on August 12, 2021, after losing the ability to swallow and enduring nearly two weeks without food or water. Thankfully, my sister and I were able be at his side through the whole process, something for which I will be forever grateful.
His ex-wife was his caretaker and had power of attorney over his affairs. My sister and I are the only beneficiaries in his Will.
Our relationship with his ex-wife has always been rocky, and we do not trust her to fulfill our father’s wishes. We don’t know where his assets are located so Dad’s ex-wife is the one who must supply that information.
Because of all this, we have decided to pursue a full probate but don’t want to create unnecessary strife if it isn’t what our father would want.
Any guidance you can offer would be so very appreciated.
Thank you!
April
Hi April,
My condolences on the loss of your father.
Thanks for submitting your question. Unfortunately, it’s one grieving families too often face.
The American Bar Association (ABA) says, “Probate is the formal legal process that gives recognition to a Will and appoints the executor or personal representative who will administer the estate and distribute assets to the intended beneficiaries.”
In order to get some more guidance for you, I consulted with my dear friend Diana, a retired judge. She said, “Probate can be acrimonious and costly but fruitful if someone is truly hiding assets. So, the real question is, do they believe she would/is hiding assets? If yes, then probate can force an investigation and hopefully disclosure as the court has the ability to order an independent investigation.”
Having said all that, I connected with your dad’s spirit and asked him for his opinion. Here’s a summary of our conversation:
– Is it in your daughters’ your best interest to pursue full probate to settle your estate? He said YES.
– Is your ex-wife attempting to hide some of your assets? He said YES.
– Is it worth the legal fees your daughters will incur to pursue full probate on your estate? He said YES.
– Do you suggest your daughters pursue full probate in settling your estate. Again, he said YES.
Your story is a reminder that everyone, even people without assets, needs a Will. Add to that a Living Will, Durable Power of Attorney and Medical Power of Attorney. It’s a gift of love to make the settling of your estate as easy as possible on your loved ones.
Hope these suggestions and answers from your father help you decide what to do.