Ana from Melbourne, Australia, asked:
Dear Julie,
My name is Ana and I am 24 years old. I’m from Colombia but I’ve been living in Australia for a while. My mom loves your program and talks about it a lot so I thought it would be great to get in touch with you.
Three and a half years ago I had a baby. She passed away when she was three months old.
After my daughter died, the relationship with my ex-partner got really bad and we broke up. I’m now dating someone new.
At this point, after all I’ve been through, I find myself feeling very insecure about relationships and about myself. I don’t feel good enough for anyone.
I would really appreciate it if you could scan me to look at my energies and tell me if my current relationship is worth continuing.
Thank you very much for your help.
Hi Ana,
My condolences on the loss of your baby. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.
One thing I do know however is your daughter’s spirit is always around you. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that.
Regarding your question about whether or not to continue your new relationship, when I asked if at this moment in time, it’s in your best interest to date your current beau, I got a NO.
I also “got” that he’s a good guy and you just don’t feel comfortable around him. Not because of anything he’s doing, but rather because you’re not in a good frame of mind right now.
Your thoughts of not being good enough for anyone are affecting your ability to relax and truly find joy. And that’s understandable considering you’re in the middle of the grieving process.
Something that might help you is to meditate. When thinking of beginning a meditation practice, most of us picture a person sitting in the lotus position OM-ing for hours on end. That’d be great if anyone had that kind of time. What I’m talking about will take perhaps 15 minutes a day.
The point of meditation is to learn to control your thoughts. Few people can stay totally focused while meditating but what most can do is recognize when their mind wanders and then refocus on the meditation.
When we get into the habit of refocusing our thoughts, we can recognize when we’re having a negative thought about ourselves or a situation and change it to a positive thought.
Eventually, the ability to refocus becomes a habit. A habit that serves us in countless ways.
You’re the only one who can change your negative thoughts about your own self-worth and I truly believe meditation can help you.
I really like the Gary Temple Bodley meditations. They each last about 15 minutes, are downloadable and inexpensive.
Hope this information helps.
Sending big hugs to you and your mama in the land Down Under.