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Julie Ryan

Dementia

Angels and Dementia

Rebecca from Buckinghamshire, England, asked:

Hi Julie,

My mother is in the very late stages of dementia and is bed bound. I care for her at home. 

She sleeps most of the day, but when she’s awake, she often has conversations with people I can’t see. Sometimes she mentions them by name and smiles and laughs. I cannot understand the conversations as she’s no longer very coherent. My mother also gasped at seeing our old pet dog, “Henry!” This is all from a woman who can no longer give names in “normal” conversation.

It brings me great comfort, as I think she’s obviously straddling different realms. She’s been seeing these visitors for quite a few months. At times she seems to look in awe (possibly angels?). 

Do you know how the transitions work with dementia? 

I have a private reading booked with you but it’s not until January. 

Many thanks for your time.

Rebecca

Hi Rebecca,

Thanks for your note about your mom seeing angels, deceased relatives, and pets. I too find it comforting that we’re all surrounded by these spiritual entities as we transition from this life to Heaven.

Having dementia is of no consequence to the Twelve Phases of Transition™ process.

It has been my experience we all go through the Twelve Phases of Transition™ as we’re dying. This is the case regardless of whether we die instantly like in a homicide or suicide, or like your mom, over a prolonged period of time. 

What may often be interpreted as a symptom of dementia or a hallucination, seeing deceased loved ones in dreams or visions at the end of life has now been validated with university-based research.

In his book Death Is But A Dream, Dr. Chris Kerr, a hospice director, reports his research showed close to 90% of the 1,400 patients studied reported just that.

In my Angelic Attendants: What Really Happens As We Transition From This Life Into The Next, I describe in detail how we’re surrounded by angels and deceased loved ones and pets as we’re dying.

My book addresses what your mom is experiencing from the spiritual perspective while Dr. Kerr’s book discusses the same findings from a medical/research point of view.

Your mom is currently in Phase 7 of the Twelve Phases of Transition™. She tells me she isn’t ready to go, isn’t in pain, and just wants to spend a bit more time with her family.

Hope this information provides some additional comfort to you as you go through this time. Look for little miracles along the way. You’ve been given one already just knowing your mom is surrounded by angels and deceased loved ones.

P.S. – Regarding our January appointment, periodically check for earlier appointments by clicking on the “reschedule” button on your confirmation email. Clients often reschedule.

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Elderly Behavior Challenges

Tonya from Greensboro, NC, asked:

Hi Julie,

I am dealing with what one might call a frivolous problem, but it is causing me a lot of pain.

My husband, son, and I moved in with my in-laws because their health began to decline. My mother-in-law had a stroke in 2014, broke her ankle a year later, and broke her pelvis the year after that.

Anyway, she has been terribly mean to me. She is hateful to everyone, but the worst to our son and me. She is manipulative and self-centered. She says I don’t keep her house clean enough and she looks for things to pick at me about. Everyone who visits comments about our clean house and she disagrees with them.

She didn’t want to move to an assisted living facility so we rented our home. The rental income has helped us financially, but I don’t know what to do about her. Why does she act this way?

Now granted, she has always been snooty and self-centered, but this is to the 100th power! Does she have a demon?

Julie, please give me some advice. Please.

Thank you,

Tonya

Hi Tonya,

With the holidays quickly approaching, yours is a timely question, one that looks like it applies year-round to you.

Not only do many of us care for elderly relatives, it seems like during the holidays, unpleasant behavior can be exacerbated with activities, additional visitors and the stress of all that comes with trying to make everything perfect for our families.

First and foremost, your mother-in-law isn’t possessed by a demon. Since all spirits are pure love, I don’t believe demonic possessions exist.

Please remember, no one can create in another person’s reality because no one can control another person’s thoughts. Keep that in mind as you go through your daily activities around her. Do your best to create whatever story you need to make yourself feel better. Change your perspective to see her as a person who is hurting. Wonder what caused her to act this way and what has happened to her to make her so fearful? Is she in pain and if so what can be done to minimize her pain?

In the meantime, here are a few suggestions you might find helpful. They come from Daniel Amen, MD, a double board-certified psychiatrist and pertain to the holidays and all year:

1) Keep Your Cool – Stay calm and others are more likely to model your behavior.

2) Build A Bridge – Do your best to look at the situation from the other person’s perspective. This can head off an argument before one has the chance to happen.

3) Distract Yourself – Hum a tune, think of happy thoughts, do whatever you need to do to avoid being drawn into the drama.

4) Take A Time-Out – Go to a separate part of the house for 10-15 minutes to cool off and not engage in the argument or discussion.

5) Try Whispering – The dramatic change in the decibel level of your voice will make everyone pay attention to what you’re saying as you attempt to diffuse the situation.

6) Take It Outside – When things get tough, either remove yourself or try to get everyone to go outside for some fresh air and exercise.

At the end of the day, as previously mentioned, the only thing we can control is our thoughts which means we all have the ability to keep anyone from ruining our experience.

Good luck!

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Heartache

Jennifer from London, Ontario, Canada, asked:

Hi Julie,

First off, thank you for all that you are and do.

I’m not sure what I really want. I just know that I need help.

I am a 45-year old woman and I take care of my father after my mother’s death. He suffers from a slew of medical issues but the ones I am most concerned about are his dementia from Hepatitis C and his Epilepsy.

First, I would like to know where he is in the 12 Phases of Transition. I feel he’s close to dying but I’m unsure. In addition, I’m feeling guilty about putting him on a list for a home that specializes in dementia. I don’t want him to hate me.

Second, I would like to know how you see my health. I don’t have any issues … but I do feel a dull ache over my heart area constantly. I know I have things I need to let go of. I have been so closed off in my heart since my mom passed. I guess I’m happy she’s out of pain but she left me with everything to take care of. I paid for her funeral, care for my dad, etc., and now I’m just rambling. Sorry, but even if you can’t help me, writing this down has helped release some tears.

Any guidance you can give me would be much appreciated. I’m always trying to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up! Thank you Julie.

Hi Jennifer,

Good heavens girl, you’ve been through a lot and my heart goes out to you.

In order to get some information about your father, I energetically connected to you and then from you to your dad.

At this moment in time, he isn’t dying. He does however, have a serious case of dementia. Normally I “see” (in my mind’s eye), what looks like grayish fog over the brain of dementia patients. Your dad has it covering his entire body. Once I got under the dementia energy, I could see his body is deteriorating.

Your desire to get your dad into a dementia care facility is appropriate and warranted. Based on what I “saw” while scanning him, I can’t imagine how you’re caring for him alone. Forget feeling guilty. Your dad told me he wants to live where he can get professional care and requested you come to visit him often.

Now, regarding your dull heartache, it’s quite common to experience chest pain, sometimes severe enough to be mistaken for a heart attack, at the loss of a loved one. This partially explains your symptoms. More likely though, your heart pain is caused by a large tear in your energy field membrane located over the left side of your chest.

As I perceive it, we are spirits having a human experience and are comprised of energy. Our spirits (the everlasting part of us), house our bodies, and act as the body’s power source. Both spirit and body are holographically joined and are contained in what I call the energy field membrane.

To illustrate this phenomenon, imagine purchasing a gold fish and taking it home in a bag of water. The fish represents our body, the water represents our spirit, and the plastic bag represents our energy field membrane.

Tears in the energy field membrane are caused by emotional trauma either in this or a past lifetime. These traumas cause an energy block often resulting in a rupture of the membrane which in turn, allows an energy leak. In your case, the trauma happened when you were 17 years old. I “saw” (again in my mind’s eye), what metaphorically looked like someone reaching into your chest and ripping out your heart. I “get” it had to do with a boy. Young love drama can be excruciating, particularly because we don’t yet have much experience in dealing with relationship issues.

The good news is, by briefly illuminating the emotional trauma, the tear in your energy field membrane got repaired. This will allow your body to work on full power and be healthy.

If you want more information, please schedule a private session at askjulieryan.com and we’ll have a whole hour to dissect all of this.

Hang in there and Happy 2018!

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