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Julie Ryan

Romance

Obsessed With Past Lover

Carly from Stuart, FL, asked:

Hi Julie,

I’m currently in a serious committed relationship with a man I love (John) and I cannot seem to get past a former “situationship” with a man named Josh.

Josh and I had a very brief relationship but it was wild, crazy, and passionate, and was as if our souls connected. Circumstances didn’t allow us to be together.

It’s been almost four years now, but somehow this fling with Josh is still sticking around and is connected to me energetically. I dream about him and the next day I’ll have a message from him. It seems we are still on each other’s minds, and our hearts are still connected. Although Josh is in a relationship, he’s made it known that he feels this nagging too.

Can you tell me what this is? Is there some sort of past life or other connection between Josh and me? Or, is this simply anxiety over what could have been?

Please help me, it eats at me every single day.

Thank you so much, you are such a beautiful light in this world.

Carly

Hi Carly,

Thanks for your question. It’s one many of us can relate to.

Are you and Josh soulmates? Absolutely. You’ve been together in 435 lifetimes playing a variety of roles, not just lovers. By the way, you’re also soulmates with your current beau John.

The concept of just one “soulmate” being your eternal romantic partner is a myth and has been crafted over the years by playwrights, movies, and the entertainment and publishing industries because it sells.

In reality, everyone with whom you cross paths whether they be a parent, sibling, colleague, friend, or enemy, is a soulmate.

It has become apparent to me, in working with thousands of clients over the years, that everyone’s spirit/soul incarnates to explore a multitude of experiences. A semblance of an experience can present itself in many subsequent lifetimes in order for us to explore it from different perspectives.

For example, perhaps Josh was your mother in a past life who died birthing you, and, in this lifetime, you shared unrequited love. In both instances, you loved each other and couldn’t be together. Same basic script with different circumstances.

Now, how to get over Josh. It’s fairly common to obsess over a former love for a period of time and can become problematic when it continues and has the potential to disrupt your life.

In her book Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to an Ex Love, psychologist Lisa Bobby, PhD, says, “Cutting emotional ties can feel almost like ending an addiction. Getting over an ex can be like kicking a chemical habit.”

From what you mentioned above, it seems you may be in the ex-love addiction quagmire and may want to begin to break free of Josh by reading Dr. Bobby’s book. That, and by immediately blocking Josh from your cell phone.

Hope this helps.

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Secret Agent

Suzy from Seattle, WA, asked:

Hi Julie!

My sister told me about your show and I was wondering if you’d be able to answer a question for me?  My husband and I have been having relationship problems and I want to know if he’s been faithful to me. 

There is one day, in particular, that I am questioning … Thursday, December 1, 2016 between 3 and 5pm.   Can you answer this for me?  I also wonder what our future holds. I don’t think he’s been honest with me the past year or so and I want to know if it’s worth thinking about all the time.

Can you tell me why he chooses to be dishonest with me? Is he afraid of how I will react or is it more of a psychological issue? What can I do to help him? He just seems to feel so comfortable lying to me.  

Thanks.

Hi Suzy,

When I asked if your husband has been faithful to you, I got a NO. But, when I asked the more specific question … Has Suzy’s husband had sexual relations with any other women while he’s been married to Suzy, I also got a NO. Remember, spirits are very literal so we need to be as specific as possible when asking them for information and guidance. Bottom line, I believe he has indeed been faithful to you.

With regards to December 1st between 3-5pm, I got he was having a drink with guy friends.

I also got he lies to you to keep you from being upset. He loves you and feels like you’re very controlling. He wants to make the relationship work and wants you to back off a bit and not question his every move.

I believe your marriage has a great chance of succeeding long term if you want it to. Focus on and be grateful for all of the good things about your husband. As soon as a negative thought about him enters your mind, immediately switch it to something positive. Make it a habit. With practice you’ll be amazed at how automatic it becomes. You may even want to write 3 things you appreciate about him every day in a journal. That way, if you become angry at him, you can read it and realize what’s important.

If you choose to try this technique, you have a wonderful opportunity to make him feel appreciated and possibly have him do the same for you.

Good luck!

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Jordanian Romance

Wafa from Amman, Jordan, asked:

Hi Julie,

I have strong feelings towards a guy and I want to know if it is mutual or not?

Thank you!

Hi Wafa,

In order to get some spiritual guidance for you, I asked the following questions. All are prefaced with … At this moment in time …

1) Is the guy for whom Wafa has strong feelings interested in a romantic relationship with her? I got a YES.

2) Will Wafa have a romantic relationship with this man? I got a YES.

3) Is it in Wafa’s best interest to be in a romantic relationship with this man? I got a YES.

4) Is it in Wafa’s best interest to be in a long-term romantic relationship with this man? I got a NO.

Keep in mind, this information is probable not certain. It has the potential to change based on an unlimited number of variables. 

An example of this could be the long-term relationship answer. It may be that neither you nor he (nor both of you) aren’t interested in a long-term commitment right now but may be after you’ve dated for a while.

It seems you have a good chance to be in at least a short-term romantic relationship with this man.

Enjoy!

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Soul Mate Search

Andre from Lagoa, Portugal, asked:

Will I find my soul mate?

Hi Andre,

Yes you will. In fact, you actually have … many times.

Most of us believe there is but one perfect person intended to be our life partner. That premise is false. It’s an entertainment industry concept concocted to sell movies, records, and books.

The truth is, the people who surround us are our soul mates. They’re our parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, and acquaintances.

We are eternally connected to everyone we currently know and anyone who has ever been in our lives. And, we interact with them in multiple lifetimes.

Our parents could have been our children, spouses or friends. Our boss might have been our employee. Perhaps our teachers were our students. You get the idea.

Now, as for your finding a romantic soul mate, the answer to that question is also YES.

In order to do that, get involved in activities you enjoy. Consider volunteering for a charitable organization or joining a group of like-minded people (like a book or hiking club).

Be sure to spread the word you’re looking for someone special. Ask people if they know anyone they think you should meet. Include parents and grandparents in the equation. They’re sometimes your best match-makers.

Most of all, have fun with the process!

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Kismet

Chester from Sheffield, South Yorkshire, England, asked:

Hi Julie,

I met a guy named Nathan a couple years back quite by chance while on vacation and completely fell for him. At the time it did appear he felt the same way. It was strange because I felt a deep connection with him as if it was meant to happen. 

Back in the UK, we live at opposite ends of the country and although we have constantly stayed in touch, he doesn’t seem quite as in to me as he used to be, so I started to convince myself I had imagined everything. Still though, whenever I tried to forget Nathan and move on, signs of him would pop up, either in the form of out of the blue communication or in some other coincidental way. It made me wonder if someone was trying to tell me something.

This year, I returned to the same vacation spot – at a completely different time of the year – and lo and behold, Nathan had booked the exact same date and duration as I had, arriving and leaving on exactly the same day. We had no discussion of this prior, it just happened, and again, we re-bonded and had a wonderful two weeks.

Since that time, Nathan has invited me to spend the Christmas period with him and his family (which I accepted).

Can you provide insight into this relationship? Perhaps contact my deceased grandmother to get her “feelings” on the matter? Is he really into our relationship or am I imagining it? Am I just wasting my time?

Lastly, the obligatory gushing part – I am a huge fan of your show and love what you do. I know a lot of people who do very similar things to what you do but none articulate it in such a personable and knowledgeable way as you. You’re a total gem, and long may you continue to provide peace, comfort and guidance to those who seek your help.

Thanks for your guidance.

Hi Chester,

Thank you for your kind comments about my show and me. They touched my heart and made my weekend!

As for your question, I wanted to get back with you quickly since you’re making holiday plans.

Instead of asking your grandmother, I asked the universe (which includes God, spirits, angels, and deceased loved ones, etc.) for guidance. The reason I do this is because I have found asking just one deceased person a question can elicit a response based only on that spirit’s opinion. And, that opinion isn’t necessarily what’s best for the person wanting the information. Over the years I’ve found that by asking the Universe a question, it encompasses all of the many beneficial scenarios that we humans don’t have the capacity to envision.

So, I asked the following two questions:

At this moment in time …

Is it in Chester’s best interest to spend the holidays with Nathan and his family? I got a “YES”.

Is Nathan as smitten with Chester as Chester is with Nathan? I also got a “YES”.

Keep in mind, those answers are predicated with “at this moment in time” because they pertain to future events (well at least the holidays with Nathan’s family question does). As you know, future events have yet to happen and will involve a lot of variables that can affect outcome. This is where “free will” and a multitude of other occurrences come in to play. Anytime we talk about something in the future, although it may be a probability, it’s never a certainty.

Having said all that, we can get more detailed with a private consult if you wish. We can also get specific advice from your deceased grandmother at that time. I frequently have conversations with people in Europe. Skype and the use of a UK (or other country) conference call number work great for that.

In the meantime, have an amazing holiday season!

Hugs,

Julie

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Dallas Boyfriend

Brooke from Dallas, TX, asked:

Hi Julie,

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years now. Lately I’ve been feeling like maybe it isn’t working out anymore.

Should I try and make this work with him or is there someone else better out there for me?

If I hear it from you it’ll be more of a push since I’m in a weak place right now.

Thank you!

Hi Brooke,

With regard to your relationship, sounds like you’re already receiving intuitive guidance.

There are a couple of main ways our spirits communicate with us about relationships or anything else for that matter.

In your case, when you begin to question whether or not you want to spend time with your boyfriend or want to explore someone new, that’s guidance.

Also, when you think of him or are around him and you feel what we consider to be negative emotions (uneasiness, emotional pain, anger, etc.), that too is guidance.

The easiest way to get answers is to ask “Is it in my best interest to” and finish the sentence. Be as specific as possible. Spirits are very literal.

An intuitive response will come immediately, as fast as you can snap your fingers. If you think about it for more than a second, it’s your brain answering you.

So, when I ask, is it in Brooke’s best interest to continue a romantic relationship with her current boyfriend? I get a NO.

Is it in Brooke’s best interest to terminate her relationship with her current boyfriend? I also get a NO.

When I ask is it in Brooke’s best interest to terminate a romantic relationship with her current boyfriend? I get a YES.

See the difference? Perhaps it’s better for you to have your current boyfriend as just a friend who’s a boy!

You already know what to do. Life is supposed to be fun, so go find some fun!

Thanks for your question.

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Is He Coming Back?

LaShunda from Douglasville, GA, asked:

“I have been on and off with a guy for nearly 3 years now. We had a disagreement and we haven’t spoken in over a month. Do you feel he’ll come back for a serious relationship? If so, when? Is he involved with someone else at the moment?”
 

Hi LaShunda,

Right now at this moment in time I’m getting that he won’t come back for a serious relationship and that he is currently involved with someone else.

Keep in mind, when predicting the future, there are an unlimited amount of variables that can affect outcome. Will you meet someone you like better? Will his current relationship work out? Does he really possess the attributes you want in a man? The possibilities are endless.

Any decision or combination of choices can change the course of a relationship (or anything else) which makes the future unpredictable. This phenomenon is what religions refer to when discussing how “free will” impacts our lives.

I believe there is always a much bigger picture unfolding than we’re able to perceive. And, I believe things are always happening in our best interest, even when life gets uncomfortable. We’ve all experienced tough situations that have eventually ended up benefitting us.

Do your best to focus on what you want. Think of all the wonderful qualities you’d like to have in your partner and you’ll be more likely to attract that special somebody. Enjoy the adventure!

Blessings,

Julie

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All Just A Lie?

LaShunda from Jayess, MS, wrote:

“I have been involved with a guy for over 2 years now. Three weeks ago he called things off saying he was never really in love with me and he no longer wanted to pursue a relationship with me. In the midst of the argument, he insisted that his feelings for me were real, I still mean the world to him, and told me that he wasn’t dating anyone else. This left me confused. I would like to know if he’s afraid of his real love for me or was it all just one big lie?”

Hi LaShunda,

I believe it was, in your words, just one big lie. 

I also believe it’s in your best interest to avoid this guy.

Wish him well, and focus on what you want in a man. Then, be open to what and whom appears.

You deserve someone who will love and cherish you.

Hope your heart heals fast!

Blessings,

Julie

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Career and a Boy

Madison from Birmingham, AL asked:

“Lately I have not been feeling myself at all. Every day I find myself questioning everything I do, even the littlest things. My future has also been giving me extreme anxiety. I sometimes think I will never find a boy that will love me or a career that I could prosper in. Please help me try and figure things out.”

 

Hi Madison,

Regarding that boy who will love you, right now I get you’ll meet him in your mid-twenties. And regarding that career thing, at this moment in time, I get nursing, although I don’t get that it’ll be in your best interest to be a nurse. Even though that sounds a bit twisted, perhaps you’ll have a career in the nursing industry in a business or other capacity.

With both of your questions, keep in mind, since they’re in the future, lots of variables (like free will, and the behavior of others) will be a factor and will influence the trajectory of your life.

Remember to ask yourself the question, “Is it in my best interest to …” and finish the sentence with anything you’re wondering about. When the answer instantly comes, it’s your intuition (spiritual guidance) talking. If the answer takes longer than a couple of seconds, it’s your brain answering. Your intuition will always supersede your intellect and will always be correct.

Blessings, Julie

 

By Julie Ryan|2015-04-29T01:48:17+00:00April 29th, 2015

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