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Julie Ryan

Heart Ache

Wait For Love

Bertha in Central Islip, NY, asked:

Hi Julie,

I love your podcast so much and although this question is silly, I just need some relief.

My boyfriend and I broke up this week and I’m heartbroken.

It wasn’t because of something bad, just that his job got very demanding. This caused him to be tired and stressed. He is also going to take classes and temporarily move away (from Long Island to Brooklyn). Since he can’t make us a priority, he feels it’s best for us to go our own ways.

He mentioned we can find each other in a few years when his job is more stable and he moves back to Long Island.

My question is, should I even entertain the idea of us getting back together?

Thank you for your input and for your show!

Bertha

Hi Bertha,

So sorry to hear you’re hurting after the breakup with your boyfriend. That’s something most of us go through multiple times in our lives and it’s never easy.

As for whether you should wait around for him with the hope his job becomes less demanding, he has more free time, and he moves back to Long Island, here are a few thoughts for you to ponder.

The old saying, “If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be,” applies in your situation.

Psychology Today says, “What is behind this old saying? Some interpret it as a description of fate. Only fate can determine whether a relationship was meant to be. So, if you let someone go, they will come back if that’s your destiny.

For those of us who don’t believe in determinism, this explanation does not ring true. A better interpretation is that you cannot force someone to love you. You have to give them the freedom to choose.” I tend to agree with the shrinks.

As you may know, I’m a volunteer sorority advisor at the University of Alabama and have had countless chats with girls in your position who’ve recently broken up with their boyfriend.

My advice to them is the same I’m giving you. Just remember one four-letter word … NEXT! Who’s next?

Get on with your life and if you and your former boyfriend’s paths cross, see how you feel then. It’s common for people’s lives to unfold in ways that make what was once a match, not make sense anymore.

Lastly, when I asked Spirit’s guidance about whether it was in your best interest to wait for your former boyfriend, the answer i “got” was NO!

 

 

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Heartache

Jennifer from London, Ontario, Canada, asked:

Hi Julie,

First off, thank you for all that you are and do.

I’m not sure what I really want. I just know that I need help.

I am a 45-year old woman and I take care of my father after my mother’s death. He suffers from a slew of medical issues but the ones I am most concerned about are his dementia from Hepatitis C and his Epilepsy.

First, I would like to know where he is in the 12 Phases of Transition. I feel he’s close to dying but I’m unsure. In addition, I’m feeling guilty about putting him on a list for a home that specializes in dementia. I don’t want him to hate me.

Second, I would like to know how you see my health. I don’t have any issues … but I do feel a dull ache over my heart area constantly. I know I have things I need to let go of. I have been so closed off in my heart since my mom passed. I guess I’m happy she’s out of pain but she left me with everything to take care of. I paid for her funeral, care for my dad, etc., and now I’m just rambling. Sorry, but even if you can’t help me, writing this down has helped release some tears.

Any guidance you can give me would be much appreciated. I’m always trying to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up! Thank you Julie.

Hi Jennifer,

Good heavens girl, you’ve been through a lot and my heart goes out to you.

In order to get some information about your father, I energetically connected to you and then from you to your dad.

At this moment in time, he isn’t dying. He does however, have a serious case of dementia. Normally I “see” (in my mind’s eye), what looks like grayish fog over the brain of dementia patients. Your dad has it covering his entire body. Once I got under the dementia energy, I could see his body is deteriorating.

Your desire to get your dad into a dementia care facility is appropriate and warranted. Based on what I “saw” while scanning him, I can’t imagine how you’re caring for him alone. Forget feeling guilty. Your dad told me he wants to live where he can get professional care and requested you come to visit him often.

Now, regarding your dull heartache, it’s quite common to experience chest pain, sometimes severe enough to be mistaken for a heart attack, at the loss of a loved one. This partially explains your symptoms. More likely though, your heart pain is caused by a large tear in your energy field membrane located over the left side of your chest.

As I perceive it, we are spirits having a human experience and are comprised of energy. Our spirits (the everlasting part of us), house our bodies, and act as the body’s power source. Both spirit and body are holographically joined and are contained in what I call the energy field membrane.

To illustrate this phenomenon, imagine purchasing a gold fish and taking it home in a bag of water. The fish represents our body, the water represents our spirit, and the plastic bag represents our energy field membrane.

Tears in the energy field membrane are caused by emotional trauma either in this or a past lifetime. These traumas cause an energy block often resulting in a rupture of the membrane which in turn, allows an energy leak. In your case, the trauma happened when you were 17 years old. I “saw” (again in my mind’s eye), what metaphorically looked like someone reaching into your chest and ripping out your heart. I “get” it had to do with a boy. Young love drama can be excruciating, particularly because we don’t yet have much experience in dealing with relationship issues.

The good news is, by briefly illuminating the emotional trauma, the tear in your energy field membrane got repaired. This will allow your body to work on full power and be healthy.

If you want more information, please schedule a private session at askjulieryan.com and we’ll have a whole hour to dissect all of this.

Hang in there and Happy 2018!

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